Chipping away at a goal or striving for mastery is very satisfying for humans. Breaking a long-term goal into bite-sized tasks and checking things off your to-do list feels really good. Our brains give us a chemical reward for doing the task, which motivates us to keep moving forward toward our goal.
The problems come when you put too much emphasis on an end goal. You tell yourself that you will be happy when you have x number of clients or revenue of x per year. You tell yourself that you will focus on one thing and when you achieve that thing, you will be happy, successful, fulfilled, or whatever.
Generally, that is not what happens. Most people find that when they get there, there’s no there there, meaning they experience a moment, or a short period of time, of feeling great – and then that feeling quickly fades.
Most people will likely experience what is called “the arrival fallacy.”
In the video short below, New York Times bestselling author and Harvard Professor Arthur Brooks says:
Everybody pursues goals because human beings, homo sapiens, only get satisfaction in their lives when they are making progress. Satisfaction is the joy of an accomplishment, of making progress toward an accomplishment with struggle. That’s why goals are incredibly important and struggle and pain are incredibly important.
The struggle, discomfort, and pain of growing and learning is good for us. It actually helps us to be happier overall. Go figure.
Entrepreneurs are generally drivers and strivers. You might identify as one or both of these. You might believe that when you accomplish something, you will finally be good enough or worthy, which can set you up for disappointment. Brooks continues:
The arrival fallacy is just like, “I got to get there and when I get there, I’m going to feel the thing.” Now, what is the thing I am going to feel? […] “I’m going to feel like I’m worthy. I’m going to feel like I’m something. I’m going to feel like I’m special. I’m finally going to feel like I’m special.” And you don’t. And that’s a problem. That’s a big part of the striver’s curse.
I began my career as a phone clerk on the trading floor of the Chicago Board Options Exchange. All the brokers and traders thought that when they made some amount of money, they would be “there” and it would be enough.
What actually happened when they earned that amount was they moved the goalpost forward. Most of them never arrived “there” and they kept thinking that the next number would be enough.
The moral of this story is that striving and trying to achieve something is very good and can contribute to your happiness. However, thinking that achieving the end goal will change everything for you will likely lead to disappointment.
In short, you should focus on enjoying the journey and not on the destination.
Photo by Toomas Tartes on Unsplash
