I laughed when I read the title of this short from licensed therapist Esther Perel. How often have you thought, why can’t I just show up and do my job?
You may think this even when you are the person running the business. You might wish that everyone wasn’t coming to you with all of their questions or frustrations. You might wish that the friction between two team members, or with your co-founder, would just stop for a little while and give you some peace.
How are you supposed to strategize and plan, much less do your own work, when everyone is coming to you for every little thing?
It’s that pesky people problem.
Extroverts may enjoy the conversation, connection, and brainstorming that can come from interactions with colleagues. Introverts may want to put their earbuds in, drop into the matrix, and work their magic. (At least that’s what I want to do.)
But you will likely have to interact with other humans – colleagues, clients, vendors – when you work. So, how can you minimize the inevitable frustration this can bring?
Block out time to think
Depending on what else is going on in your life, the beginning of the day or end of the day might be a good time to block your calendar and schedule time to do deep thinking, or work that requires concentration. Or, it might be a Friday. Or a Sunday, which usually works best for me. You do what works for you.
Schedule specific office hours
If you’re in an office and are the go-to person, maybe you can schedule office hours and limit the times that people come to you with questions or to chitchat? Burning questions will still come, but, hopefully, you will experience fewer interruptions.
Facilitate a weekly group meeting
Group meetings can be a way to address questions that multiple people may have. It can be a way to avoid getting asked the same question several times, which isn’t a good use of your time. Try to anticipate what people might experience, or ask your colleagues to submit questions in advance.
Go off the grid
Sometimes you might just need to schedule your own offsite. You may need to work from home or a coffee shop or a coworking space.
Or, you may need to go for a long walk or to the beach.
Let people know that you won’t be available for whatever time you plan to take off and maintain that boundary. Turn off notifications on your phone. Don’t check your email.
Your brain can give you a neurochemical reward and your ego might like being needed, but at some point you will start to feel unproductive and eventually may get resentful if you don’t take time to think and do your own work.
I recommend making this a top priority so the inevitable friction of working with other people doesn’t throw you off your game.
