When I was making the step up to sales executive from sales assistant, the VP of Sales who hired me put in my offer letter that I had to go through Dale Carnegie Sales Training. That was what he thought was the best at the time. (Fun fact: I also had to pay for it out of my own pocket and it was expensive! Not a great start to our relationship…) 

Anyway, I actually really enjoyed the training and learned a lot. I excelled in the roleplays and graduated with awards. (Maybe I was determined to get a lot out of it because I was paying for it? I don’t know.)

One of the things I learned is something that I still use almost 30 years later – and something I share with my clients. It’s a simple and powerful technique to either avoid conflict or build rapport. What is it? Smiling even when someone can’t see you. 

Writing emails

If you are feeling annoyed with someone and need to respond to an email, make sure you are smiling when you are writing. You might feel foolish, but what you write will be less confrontational and may save you from escalating a conflict, or having to do some clean-up work because you wrote something you shouldn’t have. 

If you are suffering with low self-esteem or impostor syndrome, smiling may give you the energy to position your value in a way that is confident. 

Smiling also works for writing newsletters. Imagine yourself writing a personal note to your ideal client. If you smile while you do this, your tone will likely be friendly and engaging. 

Making calls

If you are doing a video call, you will probably remember to smile. It’s better not to look like you are going to bite someone. I know that I can look stern sometimes and I am constantly checking to make sure I have a neutral to positive expression on my face when I am on a video call. 

You might not think to smile when you are on a phone call without video, but this can make a huge difference. Why? Believe it or not, people can feel you smiling even if they can’t see you. According to this article:

Smiling affects how we speak, to the point that listeners can identify the type of smile based on sound alone, according to a study by scientists at the University of Portsmouth.

The research, which also suggested that some people have “smilier” voices than others, adds to the growing body of evidence that smiling and other expressions pack a strong informational punch and may even impact us on a subliminal level.

My grandmother became a licensed real estate agent in her sixties. She said smiling before she picked up the phone was the most helpful advice she got for her business. She said she felt less nervous making cold calls and felt like she got better reactions from prospective clients. She thanked me for over a decade for it.

So simple and so powerful. Try it! 

Photo by Lesly Juarez on Unsplash