If you’re growing a business, you will need to work hard and put in long hours sometimes, but your business shouldn’t become your entire life, despite what the hustle culture tells you.
According to Harvard University professor and New York Times bestselling author Arthur C. Brooks:
What we need very integrally is to understand how my work makes my nonwork better and how my nonwork makes my work better. That’s work-life integration where there is intrinsic satisfaction from the work and the nonwork – where we’re not prone to workaholism or workism – and where we can integrate the two.
Work-life balance doesn’t exist. It’s sunshine and unicorns.
Work-life integration, or allocation as I like to say, is something you can manage and plan for. Consciously deciding how you will spend your time at work and what you will commit to personally puts you firmly in the driver’s seat, which feels better to most entrepreneurs.
As you probably know, your work is almost never done. The to-do list gets longer until some things fall off or get put on the not-doing list.
As with most things, being self-aware is critical. Do you know what projects or tasks are getting the bulk of your time? Are they the most important ones, or the ones that will lead to success for your business in the future?
With work-life allocation you make deliberate choices and have tradeoffs, which is how life and business actually work.
When you prioritize nonwork activities, your work product and productivity will actually improve. Nothing kills your creativity and problem-solving abilities like being tired and cranky. Spending more time at your computer isn’t as helpful as taking a walk, getting some exercise, or meeting a friend. When you come back, you’ll feel fresh and probably have some new ideas.
You can get a lot of personal satisfaction from staying busy. The ego likes that a lot. But as I always say, “The badge of busyness is BS.”
In order to stay focused on your most important tasks and free up time for personal activities, you will need to calendar them and prioritize them. And you will need to say no to other things.
Learning to say no is so important. You don’t have to make a big deal about it and you don’t have to apologize or explain. Just be polite but firm. No is no.
Whatever you do, make sure you tend to your important relationships. Don’t leave them on life support, which is very easy to do, and don’t cancel on the people you think will understand. The quality of your life will suffer.
The quality of your relationships will determine the quality of your life. Don’t neglect them and don’t think there is tomorrow. If you have something to say to someone, say it. Say it now.
~ Esther Perel, Licensed Therapist
Photo by Nadin Mario on Unsplash
