When I have the same conversation with two different people in the same week, I know I need to write a post about it.
The holy grail in entrepreneurship might be having a successful exit. You’ve built a business that has lasting value without your involvement. Someone or some organization has determined it is a viable entity and has given you money in exchange for your business.
You would think the entrepreneur who sold the business would be breaking out the champagne and booking a big trip. They may be doing that, but they also will be experiencing grief. Maybe a lot of grief.
And probably an identity crisis.
Let me explain.
As you know, it’s hard to build a business. You pour your heart and soul into it. You invest time, energy, and money, and it can feel like blood, sweat, and tears. Your business is a part of you and it can feel like you never get a break from it.
Raise your hand if you feel like you have to check in or check emails when you’re on vacation, if you actually can separate yourself from the business long enough to take a vacation.
I talked to someone who had been in their business for 33 years. I was so impressed. I have been in my business for 16 years and it feels like an eternity. He decided that it was time to sell the business for a bunch of reasons, hired someone to help him sell the business, and negotiated an agreement that exceeded his expectations. He should be thrilled, right?
Well, the truth is he was struggling. Beside the usual hot and cold emotions you get with any life-changing decision, he hadn’t expected to feel grief about walking away from something that had been a big part of his life for over three decades.
I asked him, “Who are you without your business?” He said it was a good question and he had no idea how to answer it at this point.
The previous day I had talked to a woman who had a consulting business for five years. She was struggling with the same thing. She wanted to pursue a corporate job and knew that was the right decision for her at this point in her career, but part of her was sad and disappointed about shutting down the business. She knew that she was more than the business, but she also admitted that the business was a big part of her identity.
If you are selling your business, count on grief being at the table as well. You may experience the feeling of a major loss, or less intense feelings of sadness and nostalgia, but some type of grieving process will be needed.
Please remember that grief is not linear. It has its own timeline. It ebbs and flows. Some days you’ll feel great, and some days you won’t. Be kind to yourself. It’s part of the process.
I cover this in my book This Isn’t Working! Evolving the Way We Work to Decrease Stress, Anxiety, and Depression.
Photo by xiaokang Zhang on Unsplash
